Proper Dining Etiquette
1. Always chime in during the meal prayer. The host will be glad that you mentioned the names of those you wish to pray for. If you have trouble articulating what exactly you are praying about, simply pause after saying a name and the host will finish your sentence with a proper predicate. Finish the prayer with a hearty AMEN before reaching for your spoon.
2. Always eat soup before your meal. If none is provided, you may take your glass of water and make your own soup consisting of the ingredients offered on your plate. At this point, it is probably wise to request a salchicha or a cebolla, as they make every soup that much tastier.
3. Be sure to remind any elderly guests present to take their pills. If said guest is hard of hearing, use a shrill, clear voice when saying "Pastillas."
4. Never underestimate the importance of rest. Please observe the good Lord's creation and follow likewise: after eating a large meal, the python curls on a warm stone to digest for a while before he eats again. Similarly, while eating, you may find it necessary to request that someone come sit next to your chair and extend their hand for your head to rest on. Even if you have taken an hour to eat and no one is left at the table, feel free to call out the name of your person of choice. They will most likely be happy to oblige, and will hold your weary head until you have the strength to pick up your spoon again.
5. Compliment the cook on the items offered before you. "Rico rico!" is greatly appreciated and will cause said cook to make you your favorite foods in the future.
Mister Manners hopes that this public service announcement contributes to the overall enjoyment of your dining experience in the future.
Picture time - Summer 2017
5 weeks ago