Sunday, November 21, 2010

The Reset Switch

It took me five years to remember that Matthew and I were married. In my sleep, I would reset to somewhere around '97. No clue who he even was*. We actually had to come up with a dialogue to be used in this situation. Me: Who are you?! Him: My name is Matthew J Goodman. I have sideburns. We're married. You love me. (He used to play with it: My naime eez Pierre. Fake French would follow suit. My foggy mind always knew I was confused; knew I didn't need to start hollering for Antoine Dodson** to come running.) Seven years have passed and for the last two I've known who he was. The kiddos, though-- my mind is now stalled out somewhere around 2005. Every single morning, I am surprised they're there. It's not that I forget them, exactly. It's more that I am shocked to find that I'm in the future.
Last night, Matthew and I stayed up irresponsibly late and watched a movie once the kids were tucked in. It felt like we were in college; down in the basement, thinking about ordering a microwaved sandwich from the front desk. Like Bennett would come down and sit next to us and say something incredibly politically incorrect, or maybe some random drunk guy. Scary Larry would be there, reposing in his black denim shorts. Maybe Josh would play the trumpet for us or we'd have to walk past Tiffany and what's-his-name kissing cheese and crackers out of each other's mouths. Oh my goodness. That was disgusting.
We were about to turn off the credits when Matt picked up a little blue velcro shoe from the coffee table. What kind of a person wears a shoe like this? he asked. I looked at it. We both started laughing. He's ours! Matt said. You know that? He's ours. The absurdity of it was too much. We were belly laughing. He picked up one small fake-suede purple boot. And what kind of a person wears a boot like this? he asked. They live with us, he said. They think it's normal. They think this is regular. It's not, I said. Oh no, he laughed. This is not at all regular.
We went around the room picking up little reminders of them before going to bed: Otto's striped cap. Loli's polka-dotted tights. Flaco's cowboy jacket.
Beautifully wonderfully ridiculous.

*I once even managed to forget who I was. I'm not writing this like it's cute or something. I'm aware that it's incredibly strange. We were sleeping on the floor in Flaco's room because our house was so cold. I woke up in the night and wasn't sure where I was. I felt the hard wood floor. Am I on a ship? I stood up and realized I had a limp. Is this a permanent condition or temporary? Have I been injured or do I always walk this way? Oh my goodness, what language am I thinking in? Is this Polish? It feels kind of like Polish...
**Wow. And oh wow.


Anonymous said...

Who is that young man with Matt?
I may have to do a reset too!!!
Funny, very funny. (TBS slogan for Conan).


Brian and/or Megan said...

oh, I remember his name....(referring to the cheese and crackers)

The Goodfellas said...

haha. i was hoping you weren't referring to your brother!!

missy said...

haha! and somehow *i'm* the one always pegged with the awful memory!
this took me back to college just reading it - and i wasn't even there!
"they think it's normal." AWESOME.

The Goodfellas said...

i truly love the fact that to them, this is just life, and we're so disarmed by it -- in the best of ways :)
ps. our amnesias are entirely different, miss "my car was stolen? really?"


Anonymous said...

Hey - sometimes people really think that their car WAS stolen and they call the police and then they're driven around Sacramento until they spot the car on the street where they really parked it and what's so strange about that?

Jenn : )

The Goodfellas said...

hahahahahaha!!!!!!!! oh no!!!

kel said...

man, i love this little guy!!!! what a cutie!!!!! i'm so sad we couldn't see you this weekend!!!!! :(