Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I apologize.

Poor little Lucas, naked online. I swear this will be the only time. But isn't he so cute when he gets a bath and isn't he so cute when he cries and isn't he so cute when he flails his little arms? My goodness.

Little man's dedication

Lucas was dedicated in church on sunday! It was such a proud moment to stand up front with my husband and my son. It reminded me of our wedding -- the gravity of all the things you're vowing to do. Matt held him up for everyone to see, just like Simba (or, if you're of the Kung Pow! Enter the Fist persuasion, just like Cho-simba. Anyone, anyone?)
Although my little man has gained 2 pounds, none of it has gone to his legs, which goes to show he's got some Mcfall blood flowing in there. Who knew my baby would be Scotch?

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

my poor little scuppernong.

i was going to write something kind of flippant, such as:

Q: what do lucas and ashlee simpson have in common?
A) acid reflux B) an older sister named jessica C) a nose job
and leave it at that, not much more stated, because i tried to type out the long story and it got too long, and writing about it almost makes me cry. but i can't be so flippant about my little lucas, so i will try to write it again.
on saturday, we found lucas in his crib in a puddle of pink vomit. his diapers were bloody too, and so we took him to the ER where he spent his one-month birthday. after about 5 hours (and 10 blood-taking attempts on his tiny veins), they sent us home with the advice to put him on a special formula and see how he does. he stopped bleeding within 12 hours, so we thought he was all better. but then on sunday night, he stopped breathing. he had just finished his bottle, and normally i would have laid him down in his crib and hopped back into bed (so so tired, like always) but instead i sat up cuddling him for a long time. and then, instead of rushing to bed, i decided to boil up a pot of water and sanitize his bottle (which i didn't need to do, since he had other bottles ready, and didn't really make sense to do at that hour anyway.) and then, instead of going straight to bed, i decided to go in and check on him. and when i walked in, there he was, laying in his crib, stiff as a board and choking. not making any noise, just silently choking.
it took forever before i got him to take a breath, and i sat there holding him and crying, and then he did it again. it was so horrible -- he stares up at you with these terrified eyes. this time i couldn't get him to breathe, so i screamed for matt, who came running (and sprained his ankle on the way.) matt was pounding on his back and still he didn't breathe, so he pinched him, trying to get him to scream or react in some way. finally he took a gasp of air and then stopped breathing again. this happened 4 times in a row. we set him into his carseat to take him to the ER, and then he did it again. it was so awful -- he was strapped down and it seemed like forever before our shaking hands could pull him out. we called 911 because we weren't sure if we could get him to the hospital in time if it happened again. since i'm trying to write this concisely, i'll skip to the end and say that 3 EMTs, 5 doctors, and 20-some nurses later, they let me bring my lucas home from the hospital.
they figured out that he has acid-reflux, and his pain reaction is to go stiff and stop breathing. when most babies spit up, they turn their head to the side and it drains out on its own. but since he goes stiff, his nose and mouth are covered in it -- and then 30 seconds later when he tries to gasp in a breath, he can't. so they have him on a reflux medication which should take care of everything.
i am so so so glad that i didn't go to bed that night like i normally would -- and all those times that i was about to, i changed my mind. i am so thankful that God allowed me to walk in and find him just when he needed me -- just exactly when he needed me. he wouldn't have made it otherwise, which is almost too painful to even say.
so. the answer is A.
and my lucas is home and okay now and for a moment, everything is right in the world.

Friday, November 09, 2007